Patrick Swayze: This Jewish Girl Will Miss You
You Are More Than a Ghost to Us
By Heather Robinson
For Jewish women of a certain age, Patrick Swayze will always occupy a special corner of the heart. Tough and tender, he embodied for some of us — ok for me, at least — a certain fantasy. Let’s call it the Jewish girl’s yearning for the blue-eyed Christian boy — akin to the Jewish boy’s yearning for the golden-haired Christian girl. If I used the term shiksa it would not be in the derogatory sense but as a shorthand description of a seemingly blithe spirit, unencumbered by the fears and gnawing guilt that are the legacy of 5000 years of tortured history and our ambivalent attitude to following strict traditions.
I first took note of Swayze in his tight black T-shirt long before he was a superstar, when he played Darrel, the older brother of the sensitive protagonist Ponyboy in Francis Ford Coppola’s “The Outsiders.” Many years later, I loved the way he held Demi Moore from behind in the ceramics scene in “Ghost,” and the end of the film, when he appears as a hologram to say: “It’s amazing, Molly. The love inside. You take it with you.” It may have been shmaltz, but it was great shmaltz, and what could be better than that? Of course it is especially poignant, yet inspiring, to remember that scene now.
Back to Swayze’s appeal to Jewish girls, at least to this one. What novelist Philip Roth captured in books like “Portnoy’s Complaint” and “The Professor of Desire” — the dark, neurotic, intellectual Jewish protagonist’s lust for the “appetizing shiksa” — the film “Dirty Dancing” captured with Swayze as street smart Johnny Castle opposite Jennifer Grey’s adored, idealistic, overprotected Jewish teenage girl, Baby.
Of course, like Roth’s characters — “the Monkey,” a promiscuous beauty in Portnoy, and the sexually uninhibited Swedish girls David Kepesh romances in“The Professor of Desire” — Swayze’s character Johnny in “Dirty Dancing” was an individual with plenty of his own problems. His self-doubts are hinted at in the scene after Johnny and Baby make love and he talks about how he’s never met a woman like Baby before and he doubts she will stay with him (and by the way, we know she’s a Woman now thanks to him!) But it seems his problems are the stuff of life, as opposed to stuff that’s in his head.
Even though the idea that he is the natural man, guilt-free and shtick-free, simple, bold and athletic, purely sexual, is perhaps an illusion, and he’s as complex as Baby, somehow his shtick is different from her shtick. Which is what makes them such a red-hot couple.
Who can forget the lake scene where Johnny lifts the dripping and laughing Jennifer Grey by her hips high above his head, over the sparkling lake, as they rehearse that daring dance move again and again?
How about the scene — which almost rises to the level of Greek drama — when Johnny confronts Baby’s wonderful, doting father on the dance floor at the Catskill’s Resort where the movie takes place and says the immortal line: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”? He’s blazing a trail through layers of well-intentioned overprotection and family mishegas to enable her to shine, to grow, to become a woman.
And who can forget how simply beautiful he was in that tight black T-shirt?
This Jewish girl will miss you, Patrick Swayze, and is thankfully remembering your great gifts. I know that somewhere you are leaping and dancing, and I hope it is true you will take our love with you.
Heather Robinson is an independent journalist who has written for The Wall Street Journal, The New York Daily News, and Time Out New York. She is a blogger for The Huffington Post and also blogs at www.politicalmavens.com and www.heatherrobinson.net
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What a wonderful tribute - just beautiful. Even though I wished you didn't need to write it it was so lovely to read.
Ms robinson writes a poiniant love letter to a beloved patrick swayze...and as always her writing moves me. The article on a jewish girls love affair with her beautiful fantasy of A love that takes you from being a girl and move you to remember with complete joy of the beauty of the transition into becoming a women. She eloquently reminded me of those days so long ago and her beautiful writing brought me right back to falling in love with my womanhood so long ago ! And yes that beautiful drink of water from texas,that was a tender but tough Cowboy with an edge for art was part of all my fantasies into womanhood ! The love affair with his wife was not only moving and inspirational but it was one that provided hope when a real love affair was at many times, in my younger years seemed like a fleeting notion always beyond my grasp...until it wasn't ! You see...I lost my soul mate to the same terrible and aggressive cancer...it was less like an illness and more like a thief...a thing that stole our moments, our laughter our hope...every word Mr swayzes wife spoke on barber walters hit me like a truck...I knew every feeling and even the ones she only had the strength to elude to. The terrible thing about this cancer is you know it will take the life its chosen, other cancers...more hope exists and a fair fight can be won ! There is no fair fight in cancer of the pancreas its a mere fight and little hope for borrowed time !!! My beloved tried to teach me lessons about a life sustained by the love we shared and the children we had...he tried to prepare me for a life with out our love, his love that protected me from a harsh world...I tried so hard to hear all the lessons he wanted me to learn to stay safe after he was gone...so the love goes with you when you pass on...and in moments of despair and loneliness I have never felt the depths of before In my life and heart...I let that love sustain me and I work through each moment at a time and some day I believe there may even be logic and sense to being left behind with all my love and no one to touch my face the way he gently grasped it when I feared the cruelty of this world and even for a moment my face in those strong loving hands made me believe I would be safe for as long as I lived...but maybe my gift was that I was safe for as long as he lived...that was the gift ! My face in those hands ! Forever in my dreams. Thank you Ms. Robinson, what an inspiration your writing is...a hell of a gift ! Kerrylynanne@yahoo.com
Wow!!! To say the least ...
I have the DVD and still watch Dirty Dancing whenever it's on the telly.
Ghost? Well, sure ... it helps me to smile and feel both good and bad -- that my 55 year old husband had to leave due to Esophageal Cancer. I always feel his hands and his laughter -- and his love -- as shown by Patrick and Demi. So, I know those awesome feelings.
Thank you for writing your heart, Ms. Robinson. Your gift helps a lot.
Gentle as you go, Marny
Patrick Swayze was one of the best actors. I liked the way he was the role he played. He will be missed very much.
To Marny; "gentle as you go!". Was a little thing my Dad always said to each of us before we left the house, as we were kids ! I havnt thought of that in 45 years yet drew deep comfort from it as my dad went with his 5 daughters with those 4 very important words ! Now Marny reminds us or me..."gentle as you go ". I'll do it...! LOL something so old school...so simple, works so well ! Works so well !!! Thanks Marny...I won't forget again ! In such a harsh world..."Gentle" is profoundly absent and I get scared of it sometimes ! But for today...I go gently and I will remind others as well ! Thanks again MARNY ! Gently, Kerry Lyn. Kerrylynanne@yahoo.com
All true and good, I for once remember Patrick Swayze for his convincing acting and skating in the best hockey movie which was ever made: Youngblood. RIP Patrick (Derek Sutton)
Simply beautiful, just like the man we lost!
What a beautiful tribute. Loved the insights and honesty of the Jewish girl, describing her longings; interesting how electronic media, in this case, film, can deliver a persona like Swayze's so openly, that the observer can accept it, then fill in any blanks, and thereby participate in an experience. Thanks, Ms. R. for sharing the pleasure, albeit now so bittersweet.
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